“Parents miss a huge opportunity when they walk away from playing video games with their kids. Often parents don’t understand that many video games are meant to be shared and can teach young people about science, literacy, and problem-solving. Gaming with their children also offers parents countless ways to insert their own ‘teaching moment.’”
-Elizabeth Hayes, Delbert & Jewell Lewis Chair in Reading & Literacy and professor in ASU’s Mary Lou Fulton Teachers College
The first video game system that my parents gifted me was a Sega Genesis. It was amazing. Sonic the hedgehog was my game of choice (mostly because it was the only one that I owned at the time) and weekend trips to theBlockbuster Video meant trying out games I had
no idea existed. 3 Days and 2 Nights was not enough time to fully explore the vast worlds of Shanobi, Echo the Dolphin, NHL '94, Earthworm Jim, and Street Fighter 2. It was a new way of being entertained and spending time problem solving the different challenges that the games brought fgorward. Was I able to play for unlimited time? No, my parents regulated my "screen time" back then, but I was able to enjoy the time, build relationships with friends around the games, and come to love the video game experiences. Whether it was the Sega Genesis, or shooting hoops on the driveway, riding bikes in the street, or climbing trees in the backyard, kids love solving problems and going on adventures. More importantly, they love the audience that can cheer them on or hear their epic stories after.
Fast forward to being a father of 4 now, it is clear that those times to be the audience for my kids comes as best as it can between laundry, cooking meals, sibling disputes. However, playing with our children provides so much more than simply having to watch a blue hedgehog cross a screen. Let's explore 3 Life-Changing Benefits for parents to boost their digital activity alongside their students.
One: The Games/Apps can be FUN!
It might come as a surprise, but the apps and games that your kids are playing are actually kind of fun! There are multiple types of parents in the world, those that are gamers, playing all the time, and those that are not. If you are not well versed in the games or apps that your kids are playing, this is an opportunity to dive in, learn something new, and empower yoru kids to be your teacher!
Think about this: Kids are in school for anywhere between 12 to 18 years of their lives. That is a lot of time sitting and having an adult teach you. What an opportunity for your kids to becom the teacher and explain to you the different elements of Minecraft and how to build a sustainable community. How to call audibles in Madden to find the open reciever down the sideline. Creating a space for your children to dive into the teaching process creates connections that are powerful and long lasting.
Two: Open a window into your child's world, learn what they are learning
If you have a child that talks all the time about Minecraft, plays Minecraft, watches videos about Minecraft, it is pretty obvious what topic would open up a conversation quickly. Being able to talk the language of our kids creates a strong connecttion outside of the video games. If you are able to compare the architecture of a building that you see on a trip or driving through a town to Minecraft, the shared interests blossom engaging connections. If a father grew up playing football on a field, but their child doesn't have that same passion, a video game could build a common connection between the two. There are so many opportunities to connect with our students, the key is humbling ourselves to dive into a world that we don't know everything about.
Three: Be the Relationship You Wanted, Not What You Received.
Dr. Philippa Perry writes in her book, The Book You wish Your Parents Had Read (and your children will be glad that you did):
“It is common for a parent to withdraw from their child at a very similar age to when that parent’s parent became unavailable to them. Or a parent will want to pull away emotionally when their child is the same age as they were when they felt alone”
This isn't something that just happens because it's life, but it's ingrained in us because it happened to us. If you got sick after eating and a specific restaurant, it is hard to go back to that restaurant again because of the impact that the sickness might have had on you. Dr. Perry's statement, if you really examine yourselves, holds a heavy weight of truth. It is only taking on an active stand against this ingrained affect that we become the parents that we might have wanted. While playing games or mobile apps may not directly resolve emotional challenges and disagreements between parents and children, it can foster the development of common ground, trust, and meaningful conversations that can continue to grow the relationship over time.
Ultimately, you are a parent and at many points in your childs life, you will be thought of as wrong, uncool, disconnected, or cringy.
However, what we are grappling with is so much more. Our kids need us to be in their digital world. To understand what it means to be in a game, on social media, in a group chat, snap, ticktok, or whatsapp. Kids are kids, they are not experts, and neither are we as parents. So as parents we need to Chase Innovation in the journey with our kids through this digital frontier because our joint exploration will create a stronger bond, understanding, and future.
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